Are you struggling to understand why your friend or partner has a very different view compared to you on how to do something? Someone recently shared with me the personality comparison between the racehorse and the workhorse. This was mainly shared from a business perspective, but I realised that these personality traits tend to come up for people in relocation as well. Let’s have a closer look!
If you have not already had a look at the 6 Core Needs, I would recommend you to have a read of them as well. Because then today’s post will help you even more on your move with other people!
So when we have decided to move to another country (or interstate within our country) most of us have a bit of a strategy on how to go about this. If you have moved before, you might recognise these. If you have not moved before, you might recognise these key patterns from other parts of your life.
- Very proactive and takes on the first task straight away
- Operates with speed and wants to action things now
- Perfectionist tendencies – wants to get things right (but quickly)
- Overall direction (why and when) is more important that having all the details
- Makes decisions quickly based on key information and moves on
- Finds people who have done this specific thing before and asks them for advise
- Can be seen as very impulsive by others
- Has the ability to go fast, but will at some point hit a wall
- Gets frustrated when others can’t keep up with them
- Can slow their pace down, but this is very unnatural to them and it takes a lot of energy to ‘walk’ rather than ‘run’
- Slow and steady – will get through that ‘to do list’ in their own time and it will all get done
- Will plan out the whole action plan before taking the first step
- If around a racehorse the workhorse can be seen as reactive (as they don’t operate as quickly), but they just need to take their time
- Detail and process (how and what) is more important than bigger picture
- Procrastination and/or perfectionist tendencies – don’t want to get it wrong, so would rather wait
- Decisions are taken more slowly, but they are carefully considered (reading, asking people, thinking)
- Has the ability to keep going with steady pace and heavy load
- Feel stressed with other people rush them along or force them to decide quickly
- Can run fast, but not for very long – this is not their natural element
If you are relocating with someone else, you need to be aware of which of these is most true for you, but also what’s most true for the other person. Because knowing this will save you a lot of grief both before, during and after your move.
How then can you work together even if you have a very different approach?
If you’re a racehorse:
- Accept that your workhorse friend/partner does not have the same strengths as you do, but they have other strengths that complement you!
- Sit down and agree on overall theme/5 key things to do so that you both know the WHY of this move.
- Respect their pace and agree on tasks that complement the slower pace of a workhorse.
If you’re a workhorse:
- Accept that your racehorse friend/partner does not have the same strengths as you do, but they have other strengths that complement you!
- Sit down and agree on overall theme/5 key things to do so that you both know the WHY of this move. When you feel stressed or rushed, remind yourself of the why
- Understand than some tasks will need to happen quicker than other ones. When you feel that the racehorse is rushing something that does not need to happen right now, call them on it and bring a suggestion of how you recommend doing it.
Most important of all is to remember that there is no good or bad way. No right or wrong way. Only different ways. Utilise the benefits of being different rather than focussing on what you believe to be a problem. Also remember that if you are both workhorses, there is a risk that it will take so long to get going that it might never happen. And if you are both racehorses this can possibly create competitiveness and a lot of ‘keeping score’ behaviours. Being aware of the differences in approach will help you create a move that is based on understanding rather than disagreement.
Not sure where to start with all this? Well, if you need help with strategies for your move (about that to do list and the relationships around it) , my online program helps you do this step by step.
Now I’m really curious if you feel that you are more of a racehorse or a workhorse when it comes to your relocation?