This week we continue our series on the 6 core needs. When you travel and move far away it’s key to be aware of these needs so that you can have a strategy of meeting these needs, especially in times of change.
For anyone who ha forgotten from last week, the 6 core needs are:
- The need for certainty/safety/comfort
- The need for uncertainty/variety/adventure
- The need for significance
- The need for love and connection
- The need for growth
- The need for contribution
As you remember from last week we had a closer look at the need for certainty/safety/comfort. As a complement to this need, we also have a need for variety, uncertainty and adventure.
The most resourceful way of meeting this need is through playfulness and taking yourself lightly. Resourceful variety is also to embracing adventure, reframing events in our lives, having different types of hobbies and embracing new challenges. There are many resourceful ways of connecting with your own creativity.
| Resourceful variety | Un-resourceful variety |
| Playfulness | Overwhelm |
| Taking yourself lightly | Frequent drug taking/intoxication |
| Getting over yourself | Un-resourceful restlessness |
| New hobbies | Self sabotage |
| Travel to new places/see and do something new | Creating drama/problems that were not there before |
Core need 1 (certainty) and 2 (uncertainty) are in paradox with each other, and may appear to be opposites, but they’re actually complementing each other. If you find that your emotional needs one end of the scales are note met (the tipping point is of course different for every human being) you will feel unhappy. It might then be good to know that the antidote to unhappiness is to meet the need at the other end of the paradox to balance your emotions. For example – if you are really bored, make sure to get some resourceful variety. Maybe go away for the weekend, try a new hobby, restaurant or whatever you find new and exciting (small or large) to ‘balance your scales’.
When moving to a new country there is usually a bit of an overload of uncertainty and variety for most people. This is when you need to create resourceful routines of certainty (going for a walk every day regardless of where you live) and back yourself that whatever comes up you can handle.
Also pay attention to the people coming along on your journey. If someone near you is throwing anger tantrums often, it’s because they feel out of control and there is too much uncertainty for them to handle. Give them resourceful certainty and they will calm down much faster. When they are ready to embrace more uncertainty you can head out together and create resourceful and fun adventures!