How to walk your talk when things are difficult

 In Relationships, Transition & Decisions, Travel Mindset

Life will never be free of challenge and difficulty. So to be happy, balanced and fulfilled we need to be able to move through life in spite of challenges. And to do so, we need to remember our core. 

I think of it a bit like exercise. Imagine you’re holding a certain yoga pose or lifting weights. It’s easy to do it right in the beginning, supporting yourself with the right muscles and engaging your core.

But then you start to get tired. Your form drops. It starts to hurt in new and unexpected places. You try to compensate by shifting your weight because you desperately want to finish what you started. And it hurts. 

Challenges in life are much the same. It’s easy to live in accordance with our values and core needs when things are good. But when work, relationships, relocations or other things are challenged, it’s so much harder to keep that emotional core focussed and strong. 

Unfortunately there  is no quick fix to find superman/superwoman strength, but here are 5 things that can help you stay true to your core and walk your talk:

  1. Know your values. If these are clear to you, it will be easier to ‘come back to neutral position‘ and to speak up if other people challenge you. 
  2. Be friends with your big picture. We all have different drivers, regardless if we’re going through big change or of we’re choosing to stay put. Becoming friends with your ‘why’ is a big part of this. 
  3. Challenges are a great opportunity to back ourselves. Someone else does not get to decide what you should or could be doing. You get to decide what you take onboard and what you don’t. External input is a way to check in how committed you are to your path/job/relationship. 
  4. Schedule time with yourself. Most of us would never miss a work meeting or time with a friend in need, but we’re happy to sacrifice time for us and put ourselves at the bottom of the list. In times of challenge it’s extra important to schedule time to check in with yourself and make sure that you’ve got point 1-3 covered. 
  5. Is it healthy and helpful? Challenge is never easy, but how we manage it can have a big impact on the outcome on the other side. When you’re doing things to manage the difficult time as well as deciding what feedback and support you take on board it can be good to ask yourself this question on a regular basis. Is listening to this person healthy and helpful right now? Is doing this activity healthy and helpful for me in the long and/or short run? Is it healthy and helpful to think the way I currently do? 

Every single person I know has gone through complicated challenges at some point in their life. Some of them managed on their own, others leaned a lot on friends and family. Some needed professional help to work through it. There is no perfect way to deal with difficult things. Just focus on your core and look for tools and support to be as aligned as you can. 

It’s easy to do overwhelm and beat ourselves up, but we all know that’s not healthy nor helpful. So choose your focus and make sure to get the support you need to walk your talk, even when times are tough. 

 

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