The big move – who’s on your team?
When we’re on the move we’ll inevitably get a lot of variety. In this buzz of variety and adventure, most of us have a high need for certainty as well, which can be a hard balance to master. Last week we talked about how to trust both self and others on your way and what criteria you can use. This week we’re going to take it one step further.
As powerful as you are on your own, you’ll never be stronger than a great team. Yes, naturally you do need clarity on what you want as an individual and what you desire to do in order to make that happen. But you do need your team in order to ‘run the race’. Why else would people in professional sport have a whole support team around them? Because they know they can’t possibly be experts or have time to know everything about everything. They can’t read up on all new things and trends around nutrition, medical, muscle strength, psychology and everything else. They lean on their team for different parts of the preparation, race and recovery after. Because it’s so much easier to do something and land afterwords with the right crew around you.
A few types of people that are very useful to have around you when you move far away:
- The one who has done it already. This can be a friend, a coach, a family member or a new person you’ve met online to seek advise and inspiration. They will give you practical and emotional advise from their perspective that can be very useful, as long as you bear in mind that it might not be exactly the same for you. They know what it feels like and they can assure you they survived. Their advise is often generic, because they are not trained to ‘stand in your shoes’, they simply just ‘ran the same race’, but that was a while ago.
- The one who loves you no matter what. A parent, a partner, a sibling, a friend or someone else that loves you no matter what you do in life. Yes they might not understand what you’re about to do, but that does not change anything in terms of how much they love you. They are always there with a (virtual or real) hug to charge you up on love and support.
- The non-emotional action taker. Let’s face it, sometimes we need a hug and sometimes we need to get sh*t done. This person in your life might be a friend, family member or someone you hire to help you out with specific parts of your move (helping you find a house, get through your checklist, scout the job market). This person will get you through what must be done and will help you do it in a timely way.
- The partner in crime. There is a time and a place for travelling and moving alone for a wide range of reasons. For most people though, to share the journey with someone is truly amazing. This person is often either very similar to us or almost our opposite. It can be a partner, friend or family member. This person is coming with you for all or part of your adventure and regardless of the outcome they’ll always have a special place in your heart.
- The emotional outsider and strategy coach. This person can be an actual coach (like myself) or someone that has a way of understanding you without getting overly involved in how you feel (that’s what the people under point 1 and 2 are for) or getting straight to the doing of stuff (person under point 3). They are not coming on your journey nor are they too close to you personally. They are there as the team leader for your move (or coach of the athlete from the example above). Their only job is to keep you balanced, mindful and responsible to yourself and your commitment throughout the move. They are able to ask you the questions that need to be asked in order for something to flow better, hurt less or simply land. They can also help with the emotional action plan if you get stuck along the way.
As you can see there are many key people to have on your team when you embark upon a big move or transition. Naturally some of these people will come and go during different phases and sometimes you might not see the value of the support crew. You know how to do some parts on your own, and good on you for stepping up. Never forget though that you’re allowed to have help and support in your life. But remember that it’s never going to show up unless you ask for it and show genuine gratitude for those people being there.
Who is on your support team? Do you have a few more roles to recruit?