When self talk is dangerous
Imagine your mind a bit like a radio. It can be super shiny and techy or more old fashioned, but the make and model is only part of it. Yes it impacts the quality of the sound and the range you can tune into, but what actually determines the experience the most? The station you tune into!
Where am I going with this? Everyone will have self talk going on in their head on a daily basis. This is healthy, helpful and a normal way of processing life and it’s experiences. What I want to share with you today is what to look out for when self talk can get dangerous or unhealthy.
Imagine that radio again. There will be a lot of different types of songs playing. If one or two songs an hour are not to your taste, you can probably sit through it and wait for the next song. But if someone changed the entire radio station to Eurovision pop and you hate that type of music, you’d probably not be too happy about it (and might find yourself slowly loosing your mind…). But then, when we’ve listened to something for long enough, it somehow becomes normal – even if it’s not good for us!
So what can you do to make sure you welcome the right thoughts and feed your mind “good music”?
- Negative self talk often comes from the ego. The ego has an important job in keeping us safe, alive and out of danger. That’s why it does not like change in general and it will start throwing in a few song along the themes of “you can’t do it” and “who do you think you are” whenever change is on the horizon. Acknowledge that the ego is there (and always will be!), but choose how many of it’s negative songs you want to hear before you change it up!
- Choose a handful of times a day and set a reminder. When that reminder (on your phone/computer or elsewhere) is going off, check in with yourself what radio station or song you are currently at. If you’ve got “work sucks” FM or “what a great opportunity to grow” FM blaring, you can probably tell that it will give you a very different outlook that day!
- Seek help to change the station. If you are stuck on a station that’s draining your energy and you don’t know how to stop it – you need to seek some help. Chat to a friend, family member, coach, councellor or a forum (online or other) that you trust.
- It really starts with being your own best friend. You would never force someone you love to sit there and listen to something that slowly killed their soul and spirit, so why on earth would you do it to yourself?! Be kind to yourself, check in regularly and back yourself. The ego is trying to help you (in it’s own peculiar way), so sometimes the most powerful thing is to stop the music, say “I’ve got this” and choose the next song with purpose, power and meaning.
What’s some of the self talk that came up for you whilst reading this post?
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