The power of an inner circle

 In Expat emotions, Family, Friendship, Transition & Decisions

We often hear about the power of the 5 people closest to you and how your income, mindset and happiness will inevitably be affected by who these people are. You’re still very much in charge of your own life and direction of course, so in this blog post I wanted to share how you can choose to mix them up, “recruit” the right people to be part of your journey and find inspiration, care and support from people you’ve never even met.

The conscious inner circle includes a few different types of people:

  1. The ones who are already on the bus with you and who can stay around: the genuine supporters as well as the healthy sceptics (remember these can stay for as long or short as you choose to share the ride with them).
  2. The ones who need to get on the bus: what type of person, energy or skillset are you currently missing? Get creative as you “recruit” the people to help you with your new transition. 
  3. The ones who need to get off the bus: the negative ones or the ones who simply can’t/won’t reach the next level with you.

Let’s continue with the bus metaphor here and look at the different stages you’ll most likely pass through.

  • The early research/building phase: You need people who are inspiring and likeminded to help you uncover and the excited about what you’re about to create. Sure, it can be helpful to have a sceptic or two, but make sure they are constructive and not just negative (there is a huge difference!) so help you make the right decision for you (remember, this is your journey, not theirs). You can get some ideas of who these people are by checking out my previous post on this. 
  • The loading phase: This is when you have decided where you’re heading and basically just getting your final team together to get going. This is the critical time to get the right people on the bus and the wrong people (or people who use to be right, but no longer are) off the bus. Don’t kick all the critics off, some healthy scepticism can be very helpful (again, as long as it’s constructive and shared with the intent to improve your journey).
  • The half way stop: Check in if the sceptics on the bus have gotten too un-resourceful and kick them off (temporarily or forever), see if you need some fresh blood in the team and make space for some new helpers and ask yourself if the people already on the bus are actually in the right seats. Sometimes moving people to another “role” and looking at them differently can be the best way to utilise their skills, understanding and type of support.

The winning team is never static (I don’t mean winning as in beating anyone else, I mean winning as in working with you). As you change and as the road unfolds, some people who might have seem crucial for the team back then have less importance now. It is vital that we learn to not desperately hold onto the people who are not helpful. We have to learn to let them go, regardless of who they used to be for us.

In my career profiling and transition program the Inner Circle section is a key part I take my clients through to connect them with the right resources and people to move forward with. It also involves finding the courage to step away from the relationships and people who no longer serve them.

Real life transitions have the ability to take you to a place you never even knew existed. You just have to realize that no matter who you are and what you’ve been through – trying to get there alone is not the answer. Having the right team around you is a big part of the way there.

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