Cause and Effect
When you are traveling and relocating it’s very likely that you will find a fair few challenges along the way. Things you might have expected and some that you never saw coming.
If you find yourself in a situation that is more challenging than you thought – remember that you always have a choice.
Yes, it might feel unfair that this is happening to you right now. Yes, you have the right to be upset with the way other people behave sometimes. Yes, it’s ok to cry because you have missed your connecting flight and have to pay for a new ticket to even get started on your new adventure.
Remember that you have a choice in any given situation (challenging or not) how you choose to deal with it.
Cause and effect are often thought of in the terms of above the line (cause) or below the line (effect). The picture below illustrates quite clearly what type of thinking and behaviour fit in where. Remember that this is not about good or bad. It’s all about what’s resourceful (serving you) or un-resourceful (keeping you stuck in old ways).
I have so many examples from my own travels of doing things from the bottom part of the image. Let me share one of them here and the results they got me.
Quite a few years ago I relocated with my then partner to the UK. I was not completely sure about the move at first and once I arrived his job schedule started to create friction between us. I completely focussed on blaming him and his job for our problems, reacting to most things by being angry and feeling stuck in a situation that was no good for me. Needless to say that relationship ended and we went our separate ways.
If I had looked at my options from an above the line thinking I could have chosen to take responsibility for the situation we were both in and focussed on finding a solution that suited us as individuals and as a couple. But in the heat of the moment it was easier (and very unrescourceful) for me to focus on blaming him for what had happened.
When things change around you, it’s even more important to take responsibility for how you choose to respond to things that happen. How you find solutions to potential challenges. And if you choose staying stuck or taking action.
Even if it does not always feel like it, you always have a choice.